Wednesday, November 24, 2010

“Marry”- Go-Round -1, The one with the open secret.


I happened to read somewhere,
Marriage can give one the deepest, happiest moments of life. And that's one of the reasons God created it. It was part of God's "Happiness Plan."

Oh, Really? “Happiness Plan”? Are you kidding me? You have to be here to know the actually nauseous pain and suffering caused by Love, marriage and the whole baggage that comes with it.
Now that I’ve blurted out my gyan, let me give you some deep insights into my “love-life” (grinning are you? Wait till I get to the good part)
Anyone who knows me, will also know I am committed to Boxer from as-long-as-I-can-remember. And not to add, anyone, I emphasize “a-n-y-o-n-e” who knows me, also knows Boxer and his dil-se-dil-ka connection with me. His family (including his dog I gifted), School teachers, schoolmates, my neighbors, his neighbors, sabziwala’s near my house, college bus driver, my college principle, lecturers, college mates, all my relatives, all his relatives (ok, hope you are getting the point here, every soul who knows me, knows Boxer) and in all this melee I never realized over 12 odd years that my parents had no idea!!  Now for the “Meet-the-parents” (Not Boxer, you guys, my so-called-readers) my parents belong to the sitting-the-fence category. They are super chilled about their daughter staying out late, enjoying, wearing what she wants, no restrictions blah blah, but when the topic of “love- marriage” is broached (imagine thunder and lightning!) they are all up in arms against it! Phew! There you go, you thought our love story was all hunky-dory!
The story until now:
Characters:
K: Me, Boxer, MOB: Mother of Bride, FOB: Father of Bride, BOB: Brother of Bride, FOG: Father of Groom, MOG: Mother of Groom, SOG: Sister of Groom, FOBF: Father of Bride’s Friend, Shwe: K’s Friend
Location: Bangalore
(*Screen goes up*)
K goes off on a gala trip for 2 yrs to do a residential MBA. Boxer is in Google-Hyderabad playing around for those 2 yrs. Now all this while, no one knows that K’s parents are jumping with joy that their super pampered daughter is actually fending for herself, turning over a new leaf and basically getting all ready for the big “Gowda” wedding! (Ha ha ha ha ha, sorry I couldn’t help laughing!) K meanwhile is waiting for Boxer to relocate to Bangalore (which he did and I am sooooooooo happy he did). Once Boxer comes back to Bangalore, K is all overjoyed. Happy times are back again. So K and Boxer are all happy living and loving in their own lil’ world. Road trips, shopping, vacations…
Do you all have smiles on your faces thinking of the happy couple?
Enter the MOB (in the voice of “Enter the dragon”)
One fateful day K leaves an IPod full of photographs at home. The very very suspicious MOB checks it and finds loads and loads of pictures of K and Boxer! The cat is out of the bag! And believe me the MOB does not like the Cat! She wants to actually squash the cat under her feet! Unsuspecting K returns home after meeting Boxer that evening (*blush*) and there it is! The 12 year developed bomb has finally been dropped!
You think K was scared and upset? No! K was amazingly happy!! The IPod did the difficult bit “Telling the parents”!! Now for the detailing, FOB takes K to the terrace to apparently talk her out of it. (Yeah dad, your 1 hr of gyan will brainwash my 12 yrs of love conditioned brain! Try me) FOB gives up the gyan bit. He then decides to take matters into his hands.
Now for the cruel planning of MOB and FOB: To marry K off to some “rich” filthy, bloody chappal-with-formal-pants wearing Gowda! (Ha ha ha ha, sorry I couldn’t help it again) FOB thinks if K happens to “meet” atleast one wannabe Gowda, she will change her mind. K thinks if FOB happens to meet Boxer atleast once, he may atleast try changing his mind.
Now, enter FOBF.
(Background: Shwe is a dear dear friend. Who’s parents are totally liberal and don’t mind her marrying anyone. The only condition being he should be a guy. That loser anyway has chosen the “arranged marriage” route. That’s a different story altogether. Now Shwe’s dad (FOBF) and K’s dad are great friends)
FOB now takes the help of FOBF to brainwash K. He coaxes FOBF to have a "personal” talk with K to talk her out of marrying Boxer.
FOBF meets K. K manages to convince FOBF about Boxer (it dint take much effort). Now FOBF tries to convince FOB about boxer. FOB is enraged! (so predictable dad!) he decides to take matters into his own hands now (the matter keeps slipping away from his hands you see) FOB has chosen some rich Gawar Gowda (let’s call him GG) to come home and see K in a week! (That will be another hilarious post!) Boxer is eagerly waiting for GG to plan to come to see me. No no, this time Boxer won’t be whacking the shit of out anyone, he wants to see K do it ;) ha ha ha!
That’s it for Marry-Go-Round-1 folks. Round 2, next week…
Till then pray K’s household retains its sanity!
P.S: MOB is the hero (anti-hero) of this story, but all this is happening behind her back. She has no idea. When she does, well… (Thunder and lightning!)
Disclaimer: My colleague who proof read this said I sound like “parent-hater” NO I AM NOT!! I love my parents, A LOT. Just that I love Boxer too. Iss ishq ka dard zara samjha karo.. papi duniya!


Thursday, November 11, 2010

Raindrops on Roses and....

Ok!! (*huff, puff! panting!) I have got to get this out of my system! Now! i wrote this post without this paragraph a couple of minutes back, but given the fact that I saw 2 of the most beautiful dogs(Great Danes) made me rush all the way back home to write this. I Looooooooooooooooooooooove dogs (the oooooooo's qualify for the intensity of my "love") and these were the 2 most amazingly HUGE dogs I have ever seen... Ok keeping everything aside, I just wish I have like 10 dogs prancing about in the house (greedy, yes I am) but something in my heart just melts when I see dogs. So there you go. DOGS. First on my "Few-of-my-favorite-things-list".

Riding Bikes. It’s an amazing feeling to be able to just sit on your bike and zoom off to your destination (however unfavorable- like, office) the wind that blows through your hair and you just cruise along on the road. Lost in thoughts (some “me” time). Bullets will always hold a special place in my life. Not because Boxer owns one (and is insanely obsessed with it, he calls it Julie! And sings songs for “her”, cheesy fellow) but just for the sheer feeling of awesomeness you feel only when you sit on a bullet. I want to ride it. All day. Every day.

The color blue. And not just any shade. Only sky blue. I know, I know, the sky’s blue changes shades all the time. But the one shade I am referring to is the bright light blue, almost like powder blue? The kind of blue the sky used to be in April, after winter is long gone, and summer is yet to set in. No, I won’t say spring and all; India has three seasons only apparently. The blue which is visible from between the very bright white clouds, at around 10 in the morning.

Beaches, yes. And when I say beaches, I don’t indirectly mean vacation. I just mean beaches. The vast expanse of the sea, which makes you look like a non-entity, humbles you almost, like they say? And waves, the very sound of them. Rhythmic in its own way. Sitting on the sand, guessing how high the next wave would be. Watching small fishing boats far inside the waters. Walking on the sand, letting the waves just about reach your feet. Or letting go altogether, allowing the waves to splash you all over, not minding the sand deposits in the clothes for once.

And Rain. Cloudy weather, cool breeze, the roar of thunder every once in a while. And the constant pitter-patter of rain drops. Watching the rain from the safe confines of your balcony, while sipping hot tea. Or just listening to the sound of rain, while wrapped in cozy blankets, a book in hand. Or getting drenched in it, is still a no-no. (I apparently hate the rain, although this hate has been reduced considerably because of Boxer and his great thrill in getting drenched in the rain. I of course diligently agree to get drenched with him each time because of the “love” u see.)

Blue Berry Muffin! The exclamation mark is to mark its special importance, I ate it on my bday (lovingly fed by my boxer) and I am hooked! I can’t seem to get over it, I like it even better that any chocolate in the world (I know I know, it’s almost like I am cheating on chocolates) my o my, how great are Muffins from Costa! ha ha, totally random but i also LOVE Masala Dosas! It is my comfort food. I can eat Masala Dosas for Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch, Evening snack, Dinner and mid-night snack (give a chance). Boxer took me to practically all the best places to eat Masala Dosas when we were you know, in the doopey-loopey lovey dovey stage ;) we still are, but the bloody gymming is sitting in the way!

Oh, and Books. Lots of them, colorful, pretty, bright books. Not necessarily only when I am reading them. They can be just there. That’s good enough. Like, book shops? Neatly stacked, rows and rows of band new, shiny books. Reading excerpts, checking out comments, picking and choosing what you finally want. And then piling it on the ever growing stack at home. And thinking which one to go for next. Of course I intend to finish them all. Someday.

Shopping too. Ok, before you roll your eyes and say ‘Women!’, I am not talking clothes, bags, shoes alone. Obviously, those too. But planned shopping in general is what this is about. Even if it is groceries. Yeah, go ahead, laugh. Making a list, driving down, ticking things off the list. And picking things not in the list; can be anything, an extra pair of shoes, or a bag of oats or skimmed milk. Like that.

And of course, music. The tracks you heard for the first time and liked immediately? Or the ones which took a long time to grow upon you, but once they did, they hung on for longer than many others. Or the very rare ones which you hated initially, but grew to love for other reasons. And those, which remind of you of a certain day, or event, or place or person, and bring a smile on the face. And sometimes, tears too.

P.S: And lo! I am feeling better already! That song makes so much sense, I tell you ;)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

New bouts of Narcissism - Part 1 ;)


Ten HOWS:
  1. How did you get one of your scars? From an accident! A real one! Ok, I wanted to save lil’ puppies near my house from the rain, so I came up with this brilliant idea of moving a huge granite slab to block the rain water (phew! That was a ghastly idea, believe me!) And then, I pulled out the heavy slab and it fell with a large thud! Smashing my ankle underneath… so after 1 whole month of bed rest and a fractured leg and soooo much of Chocolate ice-cream, I have a scar on my right leg. Pretty cool one though ;)
  2. How did you celebrate your last birthday? Threw a tantrum because I needed a haircut and when I reached the parlor does-not-cut-well lady was there, so I had to spend my bday with oily uncut shabby hair drawn into a bun. Acted like a big sissy while getting my bday gift from Mr. Boxer. Then went to my school friend’s place who hosted lunch. And we had drinks and danced and made merry till late evening. Thanks Mr. Boxer I had a wonderful bday... oh yeah, the no-haircut didn’t bother me at all.
  3. How are you feeling at this moment? Lousy. Very lousy.
  4. How did your night go last night? Sleepless. Bitter (Boxer, marry me!)
  5. How did you do in high school? Geekily well, I must admit
  6. How did you get the dress you’re wearing? A Blue top from Cotton world! Chic :)
  7. How often do you see your best friend(s)? Every day.
  8. How much money did you spend last month? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
  9. How old do you want to be when you get married? I want to get married now! This instant!
  10. How old will you be at your next birthday? One year older than my bday this year (aha, smart I am ;) )
Nine WHATS:

  1. Your mother’s name? What is this bias? Why do you not want my father’s or brother’s name? Why? Tell me now.
  2. What did you do last weekend? Lazing around watching the pouring JAL cyclone, which drowsed all my plans for the weekend in its pitter patter!
  3. What is the most important part of your life? Every part of my life is important. Hello. Ok, honestly there are some elements we can scrape off, but we’ll ignore their existence for now
  4. What would you rather be doing? I would actually be doing the exact same thing, doing this tag, but I would have loved it if it was back home, with my feet under a blanket and the TV playing some random music or a weird movie from the 90s.
  5. What did you last cry over? Wow, I am actually having to think. This is a first. I think I really cried-cried when I broke my Mom’s finger, accidently.(what do you think I am? Evil? Ok, agreed but not so much! Get off my back now!)
  6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? Mr. Boxer. A call from him abusing all those who bugged me. And yes, some good music.
  7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? The ability to handle me. Oh that’s one big thing to ask for!
  8. What are you worried about? Marriage. period
  9. What did you have for breakfast? Today, Oats. Yesterday, Oats. The day before, Oats. Yes I eat Oats every single day. (Have you seen me lately? Loser)
Eight YOUS:
  1. Have you ever had your heartbroken? I guess yes!
  2. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? Do you even need to ask! Gah! Obviously. Actually, a lil’ too often!
  3. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? No, not by anyone who I would call a true friend. Touch wood.
  4. Have you ever had sex on the beach? *Rolling my eyes* Even if I did, I really doubt I would announce it here.
  5. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? Nope.
  6. Have you ever read an entire book in one day? Yes. A number of times.
  7. Have you had someone loopey-doopey in love with you? *Blush*
  8. Have you hit your sibling and made him/her bleed? NO! Ok technically the bleeding was bcz of the accidental door slam on his finger. (I am accidentally in situations when things like this happen! Ok, fine. Go ahead and judge me!)
Seven WHOS:
  1. Who was the last person you saw? Saw? I can see my whole team in front of me.
  2. Who was the last person you texted? Mr. Boxer.
  3. Who was the last person you hung out with? Mr. Boxer. (No, I don’t stalk him)
  4. Who was the last person to call you? The Boxer, to tell me that he had a good workout at the Boxing gym. And to ask about mine.
  5. Who did you last hug? My Boxer, awwwwwwwww!
  6. Who is the last person who texted you? My Client. Send me the PWD tracking number! (I sent it last evening, check your mail. Loser)
  7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? Choco (my dog) he looked all worried that I was leaving late to office today.
Six WHERES:
  1. Where does your best friend(s) live? 5 mins away.
  2. Where did you last go? Parking lot.
  3. Where did you last hang out? R.T.Nagar juice shop. ;)
  4. Where do you go to school? Where ‘do I’ or ‘did I’. I don’t go to school anymore. I did go to school in R.T.Nagar.
  5. Where is your favorite place to be? This will sound cheesy ;)
  6. Where did you sleep last night? On my bed. Yes, I know, unbelievable.
Five DOS:
  1. Do you think anyone likes you? I am very modest, can’t answer such questions, really.
  2. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Nope! Oh I do wish I was the head of my office, so that I could fire certain people! Yeah!
  3. Do you know the muffin man? Yeah, we are good friends.
  4. Does the future scare you? No, I look forward to it, so much to do!
  5. Do your parents know about your blog? I bug them enough already. Blog too? Nah.
Four WHYS:
  1. Why are you best friends with your best friend? I am just glad I am. So I am not analyzing this.
  2. Why did you get into Blogging? Because, I ran out of people who would listen to all the crap and cribbing I do. Here no one cares, so I’m cool ;)
  3. Why did your parents give you the name you have? Because it was short and nice. And because they needed something from K. (don’t ask why)
  4. Why are you doing this survey? So that the world is enriched by getting to know someone so awesome. Oh freak, too much of Barney Stinson.
Three IFS:
  1. If you could have one super power what would it be? Oh, Boxer and I have got this sorted out. I get “invisibility” and he gets…. Hmmmm… who cares, nothings cooler than “invisibility”!
  2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? I actually, nothing. Which is very surprising. This tag is making me realize things I never knew, man, I am enlightened.
  3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring? Boxer. Then we will make Toddy off the coconuts there, catch fish, fry them, and have a lifelong party!
Two would you EVERS:
  1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? I am not even qualified to answer this question. Ex.’s? Really?
  2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? If it saves them, then yes! Plus, I have come to realize that one can look uber-cool with a shaved head. You just need the right attitude. And a nice, round head.
One last question:
  1. Are you happy with your life right now? Such a philosophical end to this tag. Happiness is but, a state of mind. I can go on and on like this, but my point is, I seriously doubt someone would sit through this whole tag, write all this stuff, and then say, he or she is unhappy with his life. I mean, if I were, I would be passing trollish comments on others blogs, saying they have nothing better to do in life than these long tags. So yes, I am happy, very happy, thank you very much. And yes, Touch wood.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Despair has its own calms...

Work is something that’s total fun and at the same time ass-whopping hectic. I almost feel like a caged tiger or tigress (based on my level of aggression according to the situation) tamed by some ring master!
Were it possible, I would acquire a sharp set of canines and bite all the “people” I don't like. I think Dracula has it easy. Real easy. To fly and to crawl and to disappear in puffs of smoke, it seems the kind of life worth having. You own an empty castle in Romania filled with antiques and libraries and statues of frozen bats and things, and get to live with wolves and bite people. Dracula has it so easy it's frustrating.

P.S: Then a dog began to howl somewhere in a farmhouse far down the road, a long, agonized wailing, as if from fear… I am Dracula, and I bid you welcome…. Spooky….