Potpourri

Nope… Not happening. Come on you promised you would write regularly. I’ve to feed the dog. I can’t write, no mood. Put your heart to it, ok at least try. I am hungry. There is nothing called “try”, either you do it or you don’t and right now I don’t feel like at all! I want to listen to that song from Jogger’s Park.  Oh god it’s Sunday! I’ve got work tomorrow! Green tea is the way to go. Ok chuck it. Do what pleases you. I have to add a new playlist, the old one, well… got old. Ok I feel like writing now.

Phew! You have no idea what it is like to have Multiple Personality Disorder. Confessions of a peaceful soul.

Coming back. There is so much to talk about, that I will need so much more time to channelize all of it!

The week was madness, in most of the aspects. Madness born out of sheer boredom! Work is exhausting, workplace, don’t even get me started on that. Gym keeps me sane and drives me nuts ,all at the same time. Weekend? Blah!

Ok cribbing time’s done.

Actually it’s nice that my office is soooooooooooooooooooooooo far away from home (11kms qualifies for the extra vowels in my so) my love for riding eases the pain of the stupid traffic and the atrocities of my dear moronic fellow riders. Back at work is like being in a Bollywood movie. My office has everything in it, drama, action, comedy and tragedies from time to time. We have a brilliant cast who out do their own performances each time! The characters are handpicked from  what I suspect a Brazilian circus. More on that some other time.

Coming to the ride to and from office, I listen to music while I ride. It keeps me sane and keeps my road rage in check and ensures a pleasant ride and a smiling face when I get off at my destination. On this particularly miserable day, I decided to add a new playlist. Then started my eventful ride. After a series of besura songs, my music player suddenly decides to play “Koi jab tumhara hriday tod de” a super duper depressing and insanely slow song! Ugh! What are the chances! And to kill my boring day, I googled the song to learn that it was from Purab se Pachim 1970 haunting me on a stupid October morning of 2010! And you should know the interesting part, I let the songs play anyway! And thus they rolled on, one by one, making a beautiful bhelpuri out of my burned out brain.

So the remaining of the week was spent in cribbing a little more, waiting for Mr. Muscles to come back, cooking, window shopping, obsessing about my hair, annoying lizards, battling a ravaging fever (so dramatic), solving super interesting office issues, refusing birthday cakes and a wee bit of soul searching.

As the week passed on, I kneaded some sense into myself. Decided to give myself a break. So what did I do? Well, I wrote this blog. That’s how interesting life’s been.

P.S: Oh! I almost forgot… I need a freaking break.

Ramblings..

Ok, enough is enough! I have been through this and given up!! I cannot write amazingly perfect blogs which make perfect sense and give a damn! This is about me! I have decided this blog will be my sanctuary, it will be the place i will write n scribble when I am feeling sad or happy or nostalgic or crabby or plain intelligent :)

I have decided I will blog reallly regularly! lets keep tab now, its high time!

So welcome once again... Lets start over..

P.S: It's going to be one helluva ride :)

Walking on egg shells...

Once in a while it is okay to accept that things are not going to work the way you want them to. It doesn’t mean that you haven’t tried enough, because if you hadn’t, then you were in your own way, somewhere at the back of your head, sure that things would not work out at the end of the day. In which case, it wouldn’t matter much either. But that is not the case. The fact of the matter is that you’ve worked so hard to make it better, or atleast stay the way it is, that seeing it get worse with each moment hurts. In fact, it more than just hurts, it is practically unbearable.

Very often, you just assume things can’t go wrong. You make things which were meant to be a small part of your life, a predominant factor governing it. And then, marvel at how wondrous life is. You look at others, who struggle to make things work and feel sorry for them. But one fine day, your own wondrous assumptions start sounding unreal, and when things start to change, you are startled! ‘This cannot be true! I have given it all I had, and this, I was sure was going well! Then how the hell did it not?’ And then you try to grapple and grab at what is left, trying to get it back to atleast a bit of what it was. At times you succeed. But at times you don’t. More often than not, you’re left with bits and pieces, which when you closely observe, are just not the same. And for all you know, will never be.

A whole load of people say crap like, it takes a great deal of courage and perseverance and bullshit, to finally begin to see the right in something. I respectfully disagree, because the only time a person actually changes and begins to see the right in things, is when he wants to.

One miserable, horrible weekend is all it took, to ease that ever high on psychoness (yeah, it’s my patented word) mind of mine. Realized, how you can deceive your stupid mind and feed it the fodder of nonsense but it will still shut up and listen to your heart when time comes.

Once in a while, it is much easier to squash those egg shells beneath your feet, wash it all away, and start afresh. Once in a while, it is okay to let go. Because this time, holding back is not an option.

P.S: I agree, I can’t hate or hurt. I love my life, the people in it and all the baggage they come with :)